Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Re-writing


Room 13 today got a paragraph and we had to re-write the paragraph we got given. This is my version of the paragraph. (Underneath the line.)

As we were getting near some more puddles, I realized that the track was dangerous. Jogging carefully down the slippery stairs I nearly slipped but luckily I held onto the tree. I was happily saved by the tree.
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Running my heart out, I was getting closer to the end. With the finish line in sight, I saw some girls just in front of me. Maybe I could catch them. At least I knew I wasn’t coming last.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Iisa,

    It's me your buddy Shalom. I really liked your writing. Your writing was so cool because you had used lots of cool words that was added into your paragraph. I can't wait to see more.

    Love Shalom.

    ReplyDelete