Friday, July 4, 2014

Back to the present #1: Tomato sauce and seconds!

“You’re crazy.” said Jordan.

Back to the present

#1: Tomato sauce and seconds!

“I will not go back in time with or Vaifoa again.” “C’mon,” I replied, “I have the blueprint.” I was right. I did have the time travel car blueprint.

I pulled out my netbook from my bag. I had just replaced the keyboard. “Hey guys!” said the cheerful Vaifoa. “I was in Norway for 31,536,000 seconds!”

Jordan and I just stared at Vaifoa. I started to do calculations. “That’s a year.” answered Vaifoa. “Wait,” said Jordan. “How’d you know we were here? In the internet Cafè?”

“Courtesy of email.” I replied, showing an email I sent to Vaifoa a few minutes ago. I then showed them the email from those advertisers. The time travel blueprint.

“So you really do have it.” replied Jordan. “But why go to the future? We’ll probably mess it up and break the car again.” “That’s why it’s the future. Mess something up and won’t tear any wonky holes in any fabric of space and time.”

Jordan and Vaifoa now stared at me. They looked at each other, just avoiding eye contact, and then back at me. “I have most of the supplies.” said Vaifoa, showing some supplies in his hands.

“Why did I agree?” Jordan groaned, knocking some pieces in place. The car almost done. “Let’s get that tridecahedron battery!” Vaifoa called cheerfully. We all scrambled in the car.

“Do you have a drivers licence?” asked Jordan. “No.” I replied. “I’m 11 years old. They won’t even let me try.” I started driving. “Say, whose key is that?” asked Vaifoa. I looked away. “Oi!” shouted a man running behind the car.

VROOMM!! I hit the gas pedal. The car went at 180 k/ph. It was nowhere near its fastest, 5000 k/ph. Coincidentally, there was an approaching store. The name of the store was ‘Tridecahedron batteries and other stuff.

Jordan leaned over the edge, and grabbed a tridecahedron battery from a passerby. Vaifoa opened the front and implanted the battery. With a massive boom, the car sped across the tar so fast that there were flaming tire tracks.

Vaifoa was hanging on for dear life. All that kept him from flying away from the car was his seatbelt. “So these do save lives!” panicked Vaifoa. Jordan pushed Vaifoa’s feet into the car. Vaifoa clambered in.

We raced past a cop car. WEE-OOO WEE-OOO!! went the sirens. Jordan looked back. “We’re stuffed.” he said. Either the cop car was on steroids, or our car was slow. Nope, the car was on steroids.

“Stop in the name of the law!” shouted a cop. “Wait, the law has a name besides law?” asked Jordan sarcastically. I looked up. There wasn’t a cloud to be seen. “Jeez...” I groaned.

SCREE!! I wasn’t paying attention to the road, and accidently drove off the edge of a hill. The trees we passed got set on fire. “Economic vandalism.” gulped Jordan.

The cops stopped. As they got smaller, they called for a helicopter. 1 second later, they arrived. Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam went the bullets. Yes, we were being shot at.

KABAMMO!! A nuke was dropped nearby and exploded. “Do you really go this far!?” shouted Jordan. “At least there’s no erupting volcanoes.” replied Vaifoa. But up ahead was...

A volcano. Jordan slugged Vaifoa in the arm. We rode up the rocky terrain, just avoiding the lava. We flew over the top, in dramatic slow motion. “How do they do it?” asked Vaifoa.

Dramatic music started playing. I looked to my side. There was a band floating in mid-air. “What are you doing?” I asked. They ignored me and kept playing.

BANG!! We landed on the other side. Everything sped up. I saw a giant mushroom. “Is this Mario?” asked Vaifoa. I swerved, but I knocked it high into the air. “Meh.” said Jordan, staring at the police and the band.

Clouds started billowing above. “Where are we going?” asked Jordan. “Somewhere away from here!” I shouted. The car had still managed to maintain the needed speed of 5000 k/ph.

Lightning flashed. It hit the cop car. “Seriously?” asked Vaifoa. Lightning struck again. This time it hit the band. “What?” asked Jordan. The 3rd strike hit the lightning rod.

“Finally.” I complained. We went to May the 29th, 2064. “1,576,800,000 seconds in the future!” I cheered. “Wha? No fair! The seconds was my thing!” complained Vaifoa.

We thought we were safe, but it turns out we weren’t. It was most likely that the cops passed the case of the speeding down from generation to generation. Why? ‘Cause the cop still chased us.

I saw them, and sped away. We crashed through windows and bricks, and all those other things people love driving into. I had terrible driving. Even Jordan told me.

“Your driving stinks!” shouted Jordan. “I do this in the video games! I’m a reckless driver!” Jordan and Vaifoa were shocked. There was a long silence, even when we drove through the glass, knocking screaming people over.

“Lemme drive!” shouted Jordan, trying to grab the wheel. Because of that, we missed the jump. We all unbuckled and jumped. KABAM!! A person that flew off from the car blew up.

“What the!?” shouted Vaifoa, turning around. SPLAT! We landed in a kitchen, on the worlds largest tomato sauce packet. Sauce flew everywhere. On the chefs faces, on Jordan and Vaifoa’s faces, and on my handsome face.

“Ugh!” I groaned, hearing the wailing of the cop cars.

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