Saturday, December 12, 2015

Writing Vs Writing: Writing Test

Back in 2012, we had a writing test for our academic results. I thought that I did pretty good, but Mrs King told me right after the test that I didn't mention anything about the setting we were to told to identify. So here is the original version, and the remade version!

2012

Walking to the inter section, Greg, Mitch & Notch were trying to get to Grandma Apples cottage.

“Okay,” said Greg. “Here we are. Black ops inter section. Now I think we go right.” “Nah,” argued Mitch. “We go left.” “No, we go right.” “LEFT!” “RIGHT!!” “Yay!” Mitch sqealed. “What’s that about?” asked Greg. “You agreed with me again!” Answered Mitch. “Damn!” Greg yelled.

“This is wrong.” Notch said. “A tunnel isn’t supposed to be here.” “Nope.” declared Greg. We go straight.” “Okay.” Notch agreed. In the tunnel was a huge intersection of tunnels. In fact, there were so many that Greg and Mitch didn’t even know what tunnel they came through. Notch on the other hand, knew which way was out because he left his MP3 player on in the tunnel they came in. “See ya!” Notch yelled to the others as he scooped up his MP3. He knew they went the wrong way and that he was going the right way. He... was WRONG.

There was a room that he came in and what did he find? He saw a zombie spawner with zombies coming out. Notch screamed at the top of his lungs. “Aaaah!” Zooming back in the center, Greg and Mitch finally agreed of which way to go. They were walking away and Notch just saw the tunnel they went in. Notch zoomed after them.

Panting heavily, Notch was glad that he was with the others. “Oh,” Mitch said heavily, “Only NOW you join us!” “Uh..” Greg said nervously. “What street are we on?” “Black op street.” answered Notch. “Oh no.” Greg spluttered. “That doesn’t sound good.” “We should carry on walking.” “Wait.” said Mitch.

“I’ve done research about this street. We have to get out before night or we’re dead.” “It’s evening. 10 mins to get out.” Greg said. “Maybe,” Notch butted in, “Maybe these black ops could help us out!” “Yeah about that...” Mitch said. “We’d better run.” Zooming away from the black ops, Greg, Mitch and Notch had to stop in the tunnel. The Black ops caught up with them.

Since Notch forgot to close the door, the zombies came out. The zombies attacked the ops giving time for the group to choose. They went straight. They were really lucky because they were at Black ops intersection.

Walking to Grandma’s, Mitch, Notch, and Greg were now happy that they were safe.

2015

Walking down the stony path through the bush, Greg, Mitch & Notch were trying to get to Grandma Apples cottage.


“Okay,” said Greg. “Here we are. Wolf intersection. Now I think we go right.” “Nah,” argued Mitch. “We go left.”
“No, we go right.”
“LEFT!”
“RIGHT!!”
“This is wrong.” Notch interrupted. “A tunnel isn’t supposed to be here.” “Nope.” agreed Greg. “We should go in. Who cares about clichés?” In the tunnel was a huge intersection of tunnels. In fact, there were so many that Greg and Mitch didn’t even know what tunnel they had come through.


Notch on the other hand, knew which way was out. He had left his MP3 player on in the tunnel they came in, thinking that something would go wrong. “See ya!” Notch yelled to the others as he scooped up his MP3. He knew he was going the right way. But alas, he was wrong. 

Inside the tunnel was a giant mob of zombies. The zombies saw Notch and ran after him. Notch saw Mitch and Greg up ahead and followed them through another tunnel. The tunnels were humid and dimly lit. Mitch, Notch and Greg were beginning to suffocate. After finding 29 dead-end tunnels, Mitch decided that enough was enough. He sat down, beginning to cry. “Dang clichés!” He sobbed.


There was one more tunnel left. The three ran down the tunnel, desperate to get out and back into the bush. And luckily, that was the one. “We’re alive!” cheered Greg! He kissed the ground. Now walking to Grandma’s again, Mitch, Notch, and Greg were now happy that they were safe.

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