Friday, January 8, 2016

The Me I Used To Be - Writing Vs Writing

My first blogpost was about my Christmas holiday. I had this habit of slightly changing the actual story for comic reasons, even though it only appealed to me. Without furthur ado, lets get in!

2011

Monday 14th of December was a bad start. When I was on the toilet , I got in trouble from my dad for overheating on THE TOILET! And at 12:00 am I was embarrased when I was peeing in the garden and A WHOLE BUNCH OF GIRLS SAW ME!! Then my sister used me as a horse just cause I said “You failed!”

When my cousins left to the U.K, my sister said “you failed!” I said “why?” Then my sister said “cause you cried like a baby”

Then I wasn’t allowed on the computer for seven weeks! Soon I went insane ! And then my sister said “YOU FAILED!! HA HA!!”

THE END.

We can all see that a year 3 wrote that. 2016, a re-write please!

2016

On Monday the 14th Of December, my holiday had begun. I was really happy, but I ended up feeling sick when I woke up. After being yelled at for hogging the toilet, I enjoyed the rest of my holiday with my cousins.

Until, it was New Years Eve. I had this way of saying 'You Failed!', which made only me laugh. I said it to my sister several times, and she soon got annoyed. Near 2011, I had to use the toilet, but all the cubicles were full, so I went into a corner and did my business. My sister, determined to get back at me, told me that a group of girls saw me.

On the 5th of January, my cousins went back to the U.K. I was sad to see them go, and so was my sister. My sister didn't say anything to me on the way back. Soon we reached home, and I went on it to play games. One day my mom said not to go on the computer too much, and that I should go outside. And that's how I spent the rest of my holiday!

4 comments:

  1. I must say that the tale makes much more sense when told by a Year 8/9 boy!

    Mrs Burt

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  2. Hi Iisa,

    I completely agree with Mrs Burt! You can see just how far you have come and how much you have learned and been able to improve upon your storytelling abilities. Well done!

    If you would like to continue to practice your reading and writing skills, please consider joining our Summer Learning Journey programme (https://sites.google.com/site/summerlearningjourney/). All of the 20+ activities can be found on the 'Weekly Activities' tab on the website. Each activity is worth points and there are prizes available for the most active bloggers. Even though you are heading away to high school next year you are still eligible to participate so please do consider it!

    Cheers,

    Rachel

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  3. Hi Iisa,

    How neat to see the improvement you've made in your storytelling! I really enjoyed reading about your adventures. I was interested to read that you have cousins in the UK. Do you get to see them very often? I have family that lives around the world as well. We really enjoy chatting on Skype to keep in touch! Do you ever use Skype to talk with your cousins? Although, I have to agree with your mom that it's probably a good idea to play outside more than spending time on the computer! I look forward to hearing from you! Cheers, Leigh

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete